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Jay Leno Quotes

Welcome to these Jay Leno quotes. I hope these quotes by Jay Leno are helpful to you.

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing
his decision on stem cell research.
He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.
- Jay Leno

Related topics: Science

Don't forget Mother's Day.
Or as they call it in Beverly Hills,
Dad's Third Wife Day.
- Jay Leno

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.
- Jay Leno

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said,
"I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
- Jay Leno

 

Here's something to think about: How come you never
see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
- Jay Leno

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it,
Extortion Day!
- Jay Leno

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious.
The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
- Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a
nativity scene in Washington,
D.C.
This wasn't for any religious reasons.
They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
- Jay Leno

Politics is just show business for ugly people.
- Jay Leno

You know what they should call this war -
Son of Bush vs.
Son of a Bitch.
- Jay Leno

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of
support for us to attack Iraq.
Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up.
- Jay Leno

The reason there are two senators for each state is
so that one can be the designated driver.
- Jay Leno

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.
- Jay Leno

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war.
Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.
- Jay Leno

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
- Jay Leno

According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will
get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers.
Well, duh.
At least his book has some sex in it.
- Jay Leno

The Washington Bullets are changing their name.
They don't want their team to be associated with crime.
From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.
- Jay Leno

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors
who pose as reporters? Anchors.
- Jay Leno

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath,
do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.
- Jay Leno

Today, one year after their divorce,
Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together.
You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
- Jay Leno

I think high self-esteem is overrated.
A little low self-esteem is actually quite good.
Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.
- Jay Leno

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9
out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
- Jay Leno

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard,
he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
- Jay Leno

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able
to give their patients a lethal injection.
But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really,
really behind on payments.
- Jay Leno

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber
average people in America.
Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat,
now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
- Jay Leno

Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden.
It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil,
the Great Satan, called him a war monger.
Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate.
- Jay Leno

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people
that drink beer or wine at least four times a week
have the highest bone density.
They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
- Jay Leno

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America.
Women admire her because she's strong and successful.
Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
- Jay Leno

Magic Johnson, former basketball player,
may run for mayor of LA in the next election.
Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people
ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.
- Jay Leno

More coming out about Saddam Hussein.
We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses.
No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy -
he's one of their own.
- Jay Leno

Fear cannot be banished, but it can be calm and without panic;
it can be mitigated by reason and evaluation.
- Vannevar Bush

Let the gentle bush dig its root deep and spread upward to split the boulder.
- Carl Sandburg

It is hypocritical that Republicans can call any President
"polarizing" after what Bush and the Republican Party
did during his 8 years in office.
- Jeffrey C. Stewart

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.
- Barbara Bush

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies.
His coke dealer brought him.
- Tom Waits

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
- Robin Williams

You know, I'm a Republican, I'm a Conservative,
I voted for George Bush.
- Tom Tancredo

A central claim of the Bush administration's foreign
policy is that the spread of democracy in the Middle
East is the cure for terrorism.
- Timothy Garton Ash

I urge the Bush Administration to rethink its priorities.
We can't talk about community values without being
prepared to invest in those very same communities.
- Joe Lieberman

And it was, it was not beating George Bush,
believe it or not, the bottom line as far as I was
concerned was introducing to the public who Gerry Ferraro was.
- Geraldine Ferraro

Bush doesn't present himself as a realpolitik politician.
- Peter Singer

Under the Bush plan, Social Security gets weaker,
not stronger.
- Richard Neal

I'm also working with Mrs.
Bush on some education projects in Afghanistan,
so I get to see her a great deal.
- Karen Hughes

We expect President Bush to implement his own vision of a two-state solution,
the birth of the Palestinian State and the ending of
the occupation that started in 1967.
- Mahmoud Abbas

Italy is definitely where I feel most at home,
or alternatively, living in total wilderness,
in the bush in Australia.
- Noah Taylor

There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust
their future and that man's name is George Bush.
- Zell Miller

Make no mistake about it!
There is an organized movement against organized labor
and it's called the Bush Administration.
- Edward Kennedy

As I look at President Bush, I think he will ultimately
be judged as a man of extremely high character.
- Tommy Franks

As President Bush has said on numerous occasions,
it is the government's role to create the conditions,
the friendly environment, that will attract capital.
- Donald Evans

I find it greatly disturbing that the Bush administration
has used political and religious ideologies to influence
national policy on science and medicine.
- Tammy Baldwin

Your security is not in the hands of Kerry,
Bush or al-Qaida.
Your security is in your own hands.
- Osama bin Laden

I never found either this or the Northern Shrike return to such prey for food.
I have seen them alight on the same thorn bush afterwards,
but never made any use of this kind of food.
- John Bachman

I think the recovery hasn't been stronger because the
hole that was dug for President Obama by the Bush administration
was far worse than anybody could imagine,
first of all.
- Howard Dean

Certainly, the Bush Administration will rely in the
first instance on its friends,
since it would be both illogical and counterproductive
to reward its adversaries.
- Richard V. Allen

So a truthful assessment of how America is doing in
the war on terror as a result of President Bush's war
on Iraq is that we have been set back by decades.
- John Olver

George Bush says what John Kerry did was noble.
Yet he sees him being savaged by his own supporters.
- Mark Shields

I can't believe George Bush might be president.
- Bradley Whitford

I'd rather deal with Tipper than Bush.
He's trying to kill everybody in jail.
- Dr. Dre

I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman.
- Dan Quayle

I say at this point, for different reasons,
Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world
peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.
- Janeane Garofalo

Thanks to President Bush and Republican principles,
businesses now have more confidence to hire workers.
- John Doolittle

We don't have time to wait for President Bush to change his mind.
How many breakthroughs have been missed as a result of this policy?
- Robert Lanza

Once again, we see the Bush administration paying for
its failed policies by cutting funds to vital public
services and jeopardizing more American jobs.
- Corrine Brown

I don't think Bush was legitimately elected President.
- Roger Ebert

And I think that George Bush really is a very godly person.
- Pat Robertson

The damage done to U.S.
prestige by the feckless, buffoonish George W. Bush
will take years to repair.
- Camille Paglia

This is my first visit to Africa, a region where President
Bush has voiced a deep passion for fostering and encouraging economic development,
investment and trade.
- Donald Evans

The Bush administration does not desire to see Islam
practiced in its pristine purity.
- Louis Farrakhan

Four years of Jimmy Carter gave us two titanic Reagan landslides,
peace and prosperity for eight blessed years -
and even a third term for his feckless vice president,
George H.W.
Bush.
- Ann Coulter

I mean, there's no arguing.
There is no anything.
There is no beating around the bush.
"You're fired" is a very strong term.
- Donald Trump

When John Kerry and Zell Miller and George Bush can agree on an issue,
you know it's got legs.
- Phil Bredesen


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