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Jay London Quotes

Welcome to these Jay London quotes. I hope these quotes by Jay London are helpful to you.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument.
He told me to knock myself out.
- Jay London

Related topics: Dad

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis,
and I said compared to who?
- Jay London

People read me but they don't subscribe.
- Jay London

A guy gave me a job at an information booth -
no questions asked.
- Jay London

 

I model irregular clothing.
- Jay London

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.
- Jay London

I saw a stationery store move.
- Jay London

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia.
I said I'm more concerned about the adults.
- Jay London

My father would take me to the playground,
and put me on mood swings.
- Jay London

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
- Jay London

You know what burns me? Matches.
- Jay London

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.
- Jay London

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket,
she said it fit my personality.
- Jay London

My boss told me to get my butt in gear.
I told him I was shiftless.
- Jay London

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part,
cause we have nicknames.
So I named my private part pride...
it's not much but at least I have my pride.
- Jay London

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.
- Jay London

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.
- Jay London

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions.
He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
- Jay London

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?
- Jay London

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.
- Jay London

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.
- Jay London

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',
they told me it wasn't enough.
- Jay London

I was going to buy a book on hair loss,
but the pages kept falling out.
- Jay London

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent.
They kicked me out for pan-handling.
- Jay London

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
- Jay London

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training,
I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it.
- Jay London

My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
- Jay London

I was born nine months premature.
- Jay London

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist -
she did everybody.
- Jay London

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?
- Jay London

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
- Jay London

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.
- Jay London

Do you know it was a year a ago today?
- Jay London

I went to the store and bought lady fingers,
when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing
so I went back to the store and the manager was nice
enough to give me the finger.
- Jay London

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take
pictures we can't say cheese.
- Jay London

Even the rich are hungry for love,
for being cared for, for being wanted,
for having someone to call their own.
- Mother Teresa

In all our contacts, it is probably the sense
of being really needed and wanted
which gives us the greatest satisfaction
and creates the most lasting bond.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand.
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A somebody was once a nobody who wanted to and did.
- John Burroughs

Sometimes you get the results you wanted,
sometimes you don't.
What matters is that you did your best.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever
wanted to leave our house.
- Anthony Anderson

Designers are very fickle.
I never wanted to be a victim of that.
You're in one minute, out the next.
- Tyra Banks

Today is the right day to do
what you have long wanted to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Secretly, I wanted to look like Jimi Hendrix,
but I could never quite pull it off.
- Bryan Ferry

Wanted: a needle swift enough to sew this poem into a blanket.
- Charles Simic

My love of fine art increased - the more of it I saw,
the more of it I wanted to see.
- Paul Getty

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday...
I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me -
Homeland Security.
- Art Buchwald

Both my mother and father were very supportive of any
career move any of us wanted to make.
- James Gandolfini

Growing up, I wanted desperately to please,
to be a good girl.
- Claire Danes

I would never have done what I'd done if I'd considered
my father as somebody I wanted to please.
- Robert Mapplethorpe

In my prayers I never said I needed a home.
I said I wanted a sanctuary.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one.
So I got a cake.
- Mitch Hedberg

Earth Day 1970 was irrefutable evidence that the American
people understood the environmental threat and wanted action to resolve it.
- Barry Commoner

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up.
I wish my grandmother had done the same.
I wanted my girls to know me.
- Carol Burnett

I wanted to be with the kind of people I'd grown up with,
but you can't go back to them and be one of them again,
no matter how hard you try.
- Ethel Waters

There's sometimes a weird benefit to having an alcoholic,
violent father.
He really motivated me in that I never wanted to be anything like him.
- Dean Koontz

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

I wanted to escape so badly.
But of course I knew I couldn't just give up and leave school.
It was only when I heard my mom's voice that I came out of my hiding place.
- Zhang Ziyi

I always imagined I could be what I wanted to be.
- Chris Brown

I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man.
At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do what my dad did,
which was work in an office.
- Harrison Ford

I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.
- Michael Bergin

I decided I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 11 years of age.
- Johnnie Cochran

Love cannot endure indifference.
It needs to be wanted.
Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another's heart,
or its flame burns low.
- Henry Ward Beecher

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday,
so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson

I wanted to be a decorator.
I wanted to interior design homes and do everything myself.
- Ursula Andress

Initially, I wanted to be an ice skater,
but then when I was 13 I saw Bye Bye Birdie,
and that was it - I wanted to be on Broadway.
- Liza Minelli

If you wanted to dissect the structure of living cells,
genetic analysis was an extremely powerful method,
so my interest turned to that.
- Joshua Lederberg

I wanted to write a happy song.
I didn't know how.
- Fiona Apple

Originally they wanted me to be Buster but I really like the Tobias part.
- David Cross

I wanted to see if the American man in plain brown
pants and a bare torso could speak profound things.
- Ted Shawn


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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