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Broken Heart Quotes
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Funny Quotes

Welcome to these Funny quotes from my many broken heart quotes. I hope these Funny quotes are just what you were looking for.

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Related topics: Friendship Relationship Cute Whimsey Live-By

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

 

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle

The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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